"Becoming who you’re meant to be often doesn’t feel like a glow-up — it can feels like a breakdown. That’s not failure. That’s growth in real time."

You worked for it. You earned it. You made it happen.
The title. The promotion. The launch.
But instead of the surge of confidence you expected, some days you're left wondering:
Can I even do this job? What was I thinking? Who am I now? Did I make the right call? Am I in over my head? How do other people do this and seem so competent? So confident? So together?

If you’ve ever felt like you’re straddling two versions of yourself — the person you were and the leader you’re trying to become — you're not broken. You’re growing. And it’s way messier than anyone warns you.

Growth Isn’t a Straight Line (and Sometimes It Doesn’t Feel "Celebration-Worthy")

We hear a lot about "leveling up" like it’s some glossy Instagram reel — but real growth is rarely packaged with confetti and high-fives. Psychologists call this the "Liminal Space" — the disorienting middle ground between an old identity and a new one (Ibarra, 2003). You're not who you were, but you’re not fully anchored in who you’re becoming yet either.

Research shows that identity shifts, like taking on a new job, a new leadership role or launching a business, trigger what's known as "identity disruption" — a temporary but powerful experience of instability and self-questioning (Roccas & Brewer, 2002). In fact, a study published by the Journal of Applied Psychology found that new leaders often experience heightened self-doubt and even decreased performance before they fully adapt to their new identity (Chan & Drasgow, 2001).

It’s not because you’re inadequate.
It’s because your brain is recalibrating to a new version of reality — and that recalibration feels like chaos in the short term.

The kicker? Because no one really talks about this part, you assume the problem must be you.

Feeling Like an Imposter? That’s Proof You’re Expanding.

Imposter syndrome isn’t a sign you’re not ready — it’s likely a sign you’re in the process of becoming.
When you're stretching beyond what’s familiar, your brain naturally tries to pull you back into your comfort zone. This tug-of-war between the familiar and the new is what sparks all the questioning: Am I good enough? Am I ready? Do I really belong here?

A meta-analysis of imposter syndrome found that it’s especially common among high achievers, early-career professionals, and entrepreneurs — and ironically, it often hits hardest after a big win (Bravata et al., 2020).
Translation? Feeling uncertain doesn’t mean you made a mistake. It means you’re on the edge of real growth.

So how do you move through it without letting it derail you?

Here’s how to anchor yourself during the identity shift:

1. Name It to Normalize It. Call it what it is: an identity shift. You're not "faking it." You're adjusting. When you name the discomfort instead of personalizing it, you strip it of some of its power.
   
   Try saying to yourself: “This feels messy because I'm expanding, not because I’m failing.”

2. Create a Bridge Between Old You and New You.  Instead of taking on the marathon of becoming a brand-new person overnight, build a bridge.
   
   Ask: What strengths, skills, or values from my past self am I carrying forward?
   
   Research shows that when people connect new roles to their existing self-concept, they adjust more easily and feel more authentic in their growth (Pratt, Rockmann, & Kaufmann, 2006).

3. Find Your Growth Circle. You’re not meant to navigate this shift alone. Surround yourself with people who get it — even just one or two  — mentors, peers, communities who understand that self-doubt isn’t a weakness, it’s a sign you’re doing something courageous.
   
   Studies show that social support during transitions significantly improves resilience and accelerates confidence-building (Taylor, 2011).

4. Set Micro-Milestones, Not Monumental Expectations. Instead of waiting to "feel ready" or "fully confident," set micro-milestones you can hit now. Each small win reinforces your new identity and builds momentum. Research on habit formation shows that consistent, small actions create stronger identity changes than one-off big events (Clear, 2018).

You’re not lost. You’re in motion.
Growth isn't clean. It isn't instant. And it definitely isn’t painless. But every moment of discomfort is proof that you’re leveling up in ways that matter.

You’re not doing it wrong — you’re doing it right.

References

Bravata, D. M., Watts, S. A., Keefer, A. L., Madhusudhan, D. K., Taylor, K. T., Clark, D. M., ... & Hagg, H. K. (2020). Prevalence, predictors, and treatment of impostor syndrome: a systematic review. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 35(4), 1252–1275. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11606-019-05364-1

Chan, K. Y., & Drasgow, F. (2001). Toward a theory of individual differences and leadership: Understanding the motivation to lead. Journal of Applied Psychology, 86(3), 481–498. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.86.3.481

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery.

Ibarra, H. (2003). Working identity: Unconventional strategies for reinventing your career. Harvard Business Press.

Pratt, M. G., Rockmann, K. W., & Kaufmann, J. B. (2006). Constructing professional identity: The role of work and identity learning cycles in the customization of identity among medical residents. Academy of Management Journal, 49(2), 235–262. https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2006.20786060

Roccas, S., & Brewer, M. B. (2002). Social identity complexity. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 6(2), 88–106. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0602_01

Taylor, S. E. (2011). Social support: A review. In M. S. Friedman (Ed.), The handbook of health psychology (pp. 189–214). Oxford University Press